last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
