We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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