i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize