Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
