never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
