And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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