I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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