her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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