I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Randomize
