u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We have so much sex to catch up on
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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