i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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