i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
