Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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