I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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