are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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