I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
