just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
