how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My dick has a subreddit
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
