whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
