he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Never underestimate the power of titties
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize