am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
