thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
