Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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