john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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