The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
