I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
