He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
