We're like a lot better than the average bears
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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