You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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