just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize
