I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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