Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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