So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize