Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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