Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
this boner is exhausting
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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