marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
