Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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