Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize