just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
