Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
It's rum buckets o'clock
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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