we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize