I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i dont even know how to be here
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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