my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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