Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
