Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Still dying that you shit outside
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
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