I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Houston, we have a blender
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
