alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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