You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
