I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
