wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
