The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
