I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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