38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
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