He had one of those small greek statue penises
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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