dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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