loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
