I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Randomize
