I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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