I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
