Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize