I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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